In Defense of Motherhood
“Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word.” - Luke 1:38
For as long as I can remember, I have always wanted to be a mother.
As a child, I fed stuffed animals and toy babies and asked my mother to sew baby clothes and diapers for my toys while I proudly pushed around a stroller. As I grew up, I became the girl that ran home with wounded animals to nurse back to health. To this day, I nurture everything and everyone around me. It is undeniable that it must be in my DNA to serve, love and care for others. It is what I was made for.
I owe my heart to my relationship with my own mother. I grew up watching her care for others and give herself in quiet, hidden ways. If there is anyone in the world that has taught me the beauty of humbling yourself to serve others, it is her. My mother is the type of person that would take the food out of her mouth and the clothes off her back for a stranger without a second thought. Her love of others molded me into the person I am today. As many young women, I could not truly appreciate her as mother and person until becoming one myself. As a result, I have come to understand that that motherhood is not about recognition and glory; it is about giving.
I have never viewed motherhood as anything other than humbly loving another human being. To me, it is giving a piece of your heart to an innocent child. It is the act of pouring love into another, so that they may grow and give that love back to the world. It is a sacred vocation second to none. I have certainly never viewed it as a loss of identity. But as I look around me, many of my peers view motherhood through the lens of resentment, fear and revulsion.
Chappell Roan’s latest viral moment echoes what many young women have come to believe of motherhood. It is something to fear and dread as it steals their independence and happiness. This sentiment is tied completely to their own relationship with their parents and their childhoods where they were made to feel as burdens instead of blessings. If you were once treated as a burden and an anchor from the ‘possibilities’ outside the home, you will absolutely come to view becoming a mother in the same light.
This generational revulsion towards motherhood does not stop at parenting, but it rather it represents a more significant cultural shift. This idea fuels the misguided notion that children are accessories in a quest for self-fulfillment which justifies the delaying and rejection of motherhood. An entire generation was raised by women who were indoctrinated into believing that they simply must have it all – both in and out of the home. But in the imprudent pursuit of greatness, families have suffered the consequences. Children have been raised by daycare and the internet, and we are just now witnessing the true cost of these actions to society.
The notion that life belongs to you alone has taken root and it has deceived entire generations into believing that anything that threatens autonomy must be rejected and at times eradicated.
I understand that not every woman has dreamt of becoming a mother. God’s purpose for us reveals itself at the right moment. But at our core, as women, there is a desire to nurture and care for life around us. As women, if we humbly and gracefully embrace our calling, we can raise a more merciful and compassionate society.
After all, the salvation of mankind entered the world after the humble “yes” of a young mother.
I would urge young women to listen to us mothers when we say: our lives are not miserable. Our lives are full of happiness, purpose and laughter. Motherhood was not the end of our independence or identity. Do not let your view of this vocation be molded by those who have never lived it. The knowledge that a future generation sleeps in your arms is empowering in the way God intended it to be.
What the world deems as a lesser life, in all reality, is one of the best ways to understanding the heart of God.
